An email out of sequence:
Hello Everybody once more.
I just thought I'd relay our adventures here at Rolls Mills Farmhouse before we moved on into that strange dark land where we have no idea of the locations of any computers.
The first day here we managed to take in the Dorset Steam Fair, an event that showcased ancient steam tractors. Imagine, if you can, rows upon rows of steam tractors, all billowing black coal smoke and white steam high into the air while steam organs pump carnival music out at unimaginable volumes. Next to that is a flea market so big that it sprawls across several fields and it so vast that you can hardly see the other side, or is that the smoke? Next to that still, is a massive carnival midway, filled with shrieking kids, people vomiting from the rides or is that the smoke? Heather, The Brave Traveller, did not react well when I suggested getting a job with the carnival and she just ignored me when I pointed to one of the rides that sported a sign proclaiming "TOPLESS WOMEN RIDE FREE."
We stayed late into the night and forced poor Colin to fight horrendous traffic just to pick us up. We also got the grand tour of Colin's dental practice, a tour that had us both covering our mouths and racing for our toothbrushes as soon as we got home.
The next day we were treated by Colin and Dave, Hayley's dad, to a trip on their motorboat. Heather, despite being a Brave Traveller was teriffied that she would throw up all over the boat, but she didn't feel the least bit queasy. We shall see how she does on the thirty hour ferry ride to Spain. It was very exciting to be on the ocean, salt spray in our hair, wind upon our face, our spines shattering as we leapt from wave to wave, yeah really exciting. Actually we had a really good time, especially racing around one harbour where Colin did not feel like paying his dues and felt we should avoid the harbour partrol! We also got the oportunity that day to see the giant of Cerne Abbas, though not the oportunity to test out his reknown powers. Picture a chalk figure with a phallus around twenty feet long and you can imagine what goes on around him every night. We also got to watch an important English football match were England smashed Germany 5 to 1. Hayley was so excited she was almost through the roof, she was very careful to put down her tea everytime England got near Germany's goal. She sometimes regretted cheering so loudly as she woke up the baby and got to hear another sort of screaming! The highlight of the day was, of course, the chance to sit down and watch American movies on DVD. Travel across all of Canada, a great big ocean, down throught the hills of Wales and what do we do? Watch American movies!
The next day Colin and Hayley raced us about the local countryside, showing us important sites. We took a drive to the stone age fort atop the hill known as the Bulbarrow and got to smell the wonderful english sheep. we also got to see an incredible view over the area as the Bulbarrow is the highest hill in the region. From there we travelled down to the Mill that once served Sturminster Newton. We got a personal tour from the last Millers grandson and we delighted in everything, leaving poor Hayley and Evie (The Baby) waiting in the car and keeping the tour guide well past his quitting time on what turned out to be his wifes birthday. What can we say, we're tourists.
Today Colin took us up to watch him fly his remote control model gliders. Heather was not too excited about watching someone else fly a something. Instead she would rather have sat in the jeep and talked to Hayley about the differences in Candian and British English. Her attitude changed as soon as she saw Colin launch his glider into the turbulent air and sending in practiced swoops over our head. We now know where the shriek of TIE fighters came from. From there we toured outside the Stourhead Gardens, the house was only about the size of the House of Parliment and the replica Pantheon in the back yard only a little lawn ornament. I will be that rich someday, I will, I will, I will!!! Or probably not!
We have greatly enjoyed our time here, resting from our labours. In fact we are so rested that getting going again might be a challenge. The first night was intresting, the soft bed beneath us kept feeling like the ground giving way and I could hardly sleep. Hayley has been a marvel, though she would deny it, she keeps begging off on meals, saying that the baby makes her too tired to do what she would normally, then she puts a full and beautiful meal in front of us. We have gained back any weight we had lost.
Tomorrow we head one, going to visit the other Orman's and the new Forest. In fact we will be switching places with Brian and Sylvia, Mick and Kath and Amy, so if your in Canada and want to see some of the people we are talking about drop by the Fearfull Voyagers parents place. Try not to take too many pictures of them though, they are people too. We will wait around the New Forest (only four hundred years old the forest is, very new if you ask me) for a week or so. Hayley has suggested we visit a medieval festival in Portsmouth, so we will see if we can hijack an Orman or two to go with us. From there we are off to Spain. Spain!! We can hardly belive it will be us going to Spain, it sounds so exotic, and our stomachs clench thinking of going to a county where we know no one. It will be a whole new challenge. They have a completely new brand of funny money that we have to get used to.
We hope to write before leaving but who can say. We are thinking of you all, except maybe you and you and you, so give thought to us now and then. We will try not to rub in how good of a time we are having.
Lots of Love
The Brave Traveller and Fearful Voyager
P.S. Because we have so many people on our address line some email filters think we are junk mail (I hope my writing isn't that bad) or that we have viruses (I've been vacinated I don't know about Heather) (OOOUCH!) and our letters are shunted to other folders. So if you know someone who should be getting our messages but isn't (Hint: look at the people in the address line and see if you recognize any addresses), let them know and tell them to change their settings, its not hard.
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2 comments:
Your emails home were always the most exciting. It was a challenge to sum up what was happening.
Well, anonymous H person, I tried to keep the original emails as intact as possible, presenting their terrible grammar and awful spelling in all their wonderous glory.
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